Placebo
by MD
Summary: [FxK, FxKe, NxK, NxS] What you want is not what you need. What you need is not what you think.
1. 01 to 10

**title:** _Placebo_  
**series:** X/1999, CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan  
**pairings:** Fuuma/Kamui, Fuuma/Keiichi, Suoh/Nokoru, Nokoru/Kamui  
**about:**_/pl&-'sE-bO/: a medication prescribed more for mental relief than for its actual effect on a disorder._ Fifty interconnected 100-word drabbles.  
**notes:** **天** : ten no ryuu, **地球** : chi no ryuu, **CCD** : CCD era

* * *

**(10/01/05 : 01/50) ****天 **

_Earthquake._  
Violent freefall. Agonising euphoria. Oblivion.  
_Peace_.

It should trouble Kamui just how easily these ideas related, then connected, in his mind. But in the face of their catalyst--the blistering heat and _need_ of Fuuma's embrace--any doubts faded swiftly, inconsequential in the slur. Maybe it was a touch of masochism, after all. Or maybe only desperate, foolish hope. Either held perfectly charming irrationality. But, having crossed his Gemini today, the most probable culprit was painkillers. Overwhelming, logic-crippling intoxication... like _Kamui's_ sensual murmurs, _threatening_...

He whimpered, tossing, until gentle fingers stirred his hair, easing those promises away.

Sleep followed.

* * *

**(10/02/05 : 02/50) ****地球**

The forecast had called for partly-sunny skies, so he hadn't bothered with an umbrella. Sadly, there had been no way to account for the earthquakes or the columns of dusty smoke that rose in their wake, brewing artificial storms. Through sheer dumb luck he happened upon familiar shelter at the onset, ducking into the gazebo with a squeak as a crack of thunder split the sky overhead. Shaking, Keiichi glanced up, suddenly noticing someone already seated at the table, reading. Grimacing, he apologised for imposing and introduced himself. The person just smiled, strange amber eyes intent.

"Monou Fuuma... Please, sit."

* * *

**(10/03/05 : 03/50) ****天**

Upon coming to, the first thing Kamui recognized was the familiar warmth of hands wrapped around his own. His fingers curled weakly, returning the embrace. "Su... baru..." But when he opened his eyes he saw blue, not green.

Nokoru gave a pained smile, squeezing gently before sitting down. He looked unusually... rumpled. "Sadly, Sumeragi-san is still missing, but... I thought you'd appreciate the company." It took several seconds for that to absorb, for his memory to return. Then, Kamui looked horrified.

"You stayed this _whole time_?"

A knowing smile. "You need someone, so... for now, let me take care of you."

* * *

**(10/04/05 : 04/50) ****地球**  
The second time they met, Keiichi had been wanting some "alone" time. As concentrated and industrious as CLAMP campus was, it was difficult to come by. So, as he sometimes did, with all his obligations fulfilled, he wandered off-campus and into the business district. The streets there held no expectations of him, provided the comfort of facelessness. His heart could be exposed, heavy but unnoticed among the masses. And he almost wished he could stay there, lonely but shamelessly flawed and _human_... until a single face resolved from the crowd. Their eyes met, something clicked, and he was undone.

"Monou-san..."

* * *

**(05/05/06 : 05/50) ****天**

"Chairman, please--"  
"Oh! Come now, I get enough of _that_ with the others..."

There was an odd pause, as though Imonoyama were contemplating someone particular. Or perhaps what he'd meant, exactly, by "_that_." But then he just smiled more earnestly, appearing twice as tired for his efforts. "We've so little time to waste, being formal. Please, just 'Nokoru' will do."

"Nokoru... san... you already do so much, I couldn't--"

"I'm not going anywhere." Such soft words, yet so heavily weighted that Kamui was dumbstruck. Ashamed of his own transparency, he turned away, lest the unborn tears be seen, also.

* * *

**(05/06/06 : 06/50) ****地球**

Everything about Monou was passive. Dismissive, even.

It wasn't the most startling revelation Keiichi ever had. He'd sensed that about the other young man from the first time he'd laid eyes on him. But, somehow, in the stillness of that moment, he understood that it was important. The soft, factual tones. The disinterested gaze. The unhurried, unthreatened posture.

Those same things that were so yielding, normally, split the crowd neatly around them. By simply breathing, Monou'd exposed him, shattering his precious illusion. Keiichi _wished_ he would disappear.

"...Wanna get something to eat?"

He just wanted to be left alone.

"...Yeah."

* * *

**(10/05/05 : 07/50) ****天**

In all his years of service to the chairman, Takamura Suoh had never been as unnerved by his directness as he was, tonight. It was difficult to reason, but something about the way Nokoru hovered at Kamui's bedside was... distracting. Of course, in comparison to countless others his friend had helped, there was nothing happening that appeared to be particularly different. There was nothing special at all about him being personally involved where troubled women or children were concerned. Not even how he held Shirou-kun's hand through the nightmares.

"I'll take my paperwork in here, tonight, Suoh."

Nothing at all.

* * *

**(10/06/05 : 08/50) ****地球**

After their second encounter, he and Monou began meeting semi-regularly at the gazebo. Monou never made promises, but through unspoken agreement, appeared at least once a week to engage in "discussions" with him. Surprisingly, despite his dark disposition and biting commentary, the other made a splendid debate partner and one _helluva_ stress reliever. Which was wonderful, with exams so close.

More than once, though, Keiichi already had a headache by the time that knowing smile greeted him. And more than once, rough yet gentle hands pulled his textbooks away, urging him to rest.

More than once... that alone, saved him.

* * *

**(10/07/05 : 09/50) ****天**

One week prior to Kamui's scheduled release, his doctor relented and allowed him to be taken off his nightly sedatives. It was a difficult decision, having the inches-thick medical record in hand and understanding that the trauma--both physical and mental--was _far_ from over. But after much pleading, arguing, and tantrum-throwing on the patient's part, the orders went through, however tentatively.

That same night, Kamui awoke screaming, Fuuma's name mangled in his throat. In moments, Nokoru was there, arms wound protectively around him and murmuring soothingly until the pain subsided. Holding him until he was warm again, and slept.

* * *

**(05/10/06 : 10/50) ****地球**

_You're one of twelve people involved in a life or death situation. You have the ability to save ten strangers or only one loved one. Who would you choose? Why?_

"Is that a _serious_ prompt?"

Keiichi, ever eloquent, cocked an eyebrow. "Assuming you have no conscience. It's a question of ethic."

"Ten strangers could never amount to the _one_ person you love. There is _no one_ so benevolent," Monou replied, factually. "I'd _kill_ in a heartbeat, for that person... Does that make me terrible?"

"Does it really matter to you?"

"...You're right," he looked away, growing quiet again. "It doesn't."


	2. 11 to 20

**notes:** **天** : ten no ryuu, **地球** : chi no ryuu, **CCD** : CCD era

* * *

**(11/09/05 : 11/50) 天**

The following week, the episodes continued, nightly. Without his tranquilizers, Kamui was a mass of frayed nerves--hands tangled tightly with Nokoru's as he fought for and _against_ exhaustion. Some nights, slipping bodily into his bed was the only way to help the boy sleep--letting thin arms wrap around him like some metaphorical anchor of sanity. Still, the nightmares only worsened, and Nokoru began to voice his doubts about the aborted sedatives. But Kamui disagreed, more afraid of the chemical blanket trapping him inside his own mind than the dreams, themselves. 

"Just... be here. So I can wake up."

* * *

**(11/08/05 : 12/50) 地球**

They like to talk. About everything and nothing at all. Government, ecology, philosophy... There's precious little Monou won't engage, granted it isn't about himself. 

Once, Keiichi asked for his number. It was indefinitely out of service. Another time, he offered to accompany him off-campus, home. Monou claimed appointments of a sensitive nature. Finally, he asked him over for dinner. As expected, he was met with resistance, but he barreled ahead, unsatisfied with the noncommittal meetings, set to Monou's noncommittal schedule--determined to get _in_. "You _are_ my friend, after all."

"We're _friends_?"  
"If that's all right."  
"...Yeah, I'd... like that."

* * *

**(11/11/05 : 13/50) 天**

The problem with progress, Nokoru thinks, is that matters only grow worse before they become better--a sad fact Kamui's condition lends _screaming_ testament to. Of course, he has every confidence that Kamui will--_is_... getting better. Sorata believes, too. He smiled through his own reluctance when Nokoru asked to keep Kamui in his company a little while longer. He understood. 

Suoh doesn't understand. But what else could you expect? Emotions were never his strong suit. He couldn't possibly grasp why this mattered so much. All he saw were the wrinkled clothes and bloodshot eyes.

He didn't see the healing.

* * *

**(05/14/06 : 14/50) 地球**

Perhaps it was that Segawa Kaede was beautiful, in every sense of the word.  
Perhaps it was that she was everything he'd come to idealize in a mother.  
Perhaps it was that he just missed the feeling of family, a little. 

Whatever it was, in that house, he felt strangely touched and warm. For the first time in _months_, he felt a genuine smile curl into his eyes. They ignored Keiichi's flustered outburst when Kaede claimed him a "workaholic" who never visited anymore. And when she requested that Fuuma continue to take care of him, he agreed. And meant it.

* * *

**(11/13/05 : 15/50) 天**

At length, the relations between the chairman and his advisor became so strained, Kamui couldn't object to being moved into Nokoru's rooms. Suoh's routine visits had become his daily torment--watching them eye each other with barely-contained resentment and knowing he could do nothing to mediate, since it was all his fault. 

But relief came: Suoh backed off; Nokoru slept at night; and Akira visited instead, offering pastries and chatting with him quietly while Nokoru dozed in his arms. "I'm happy," he whispered, once, as though sharing a precious secret, "he's making friends again... He never had any, before Takamura-senpai."

* * *

**(05/16/06 : 16/50) 地球**

Sometimes it was easy to forget that Segawa wasn't the Sakurazukamori--in either incarnation--and that he should be handled more carefully. Their first Korean lunch date was nearly ruined when he choked on the kimchee, turning red to the tips of his ears. Amused, Fuuma plucked some ice from his tea, licked it clean, and held it to his mouth. Keiichi grimaced but, having exhausted all his own water, didn't refuse. His teeth closed around it, then nipped irately when it wasn't surrendered. Fuuma snatched his hand back, laughed, and then sucked his injured fingertips. 

Keiichi looked away first.

* * *

**(05/17/06 : 17/50) 天**

The third step of rehabilitation was physical therapy. Normally, such extensive trauma had graduated treatments. But fractures, punctures, contusions and all, Kamui was up and moving in just a few weeks' time. 

One morning, with the excuse of fresh air and stretching his legs, Nokoru came to accompany him, jogging. The sun had yet to rise, but somehow Kamui wasn't surprised when Suoh approached during warm-ups. The chairman, busy with stretches more enthusiastic than useful, didn't notice.

"Take care of him. He's... very clumsy."

Kamui turned to ask what that was supposed to mean, but Suoh had already walked away.

* * *

**(05/18/06 : 18/50) 地球**

After the kimchee incident, there was an unexpected--or not so unexpected--week-long break in their routine. But when Segawa did eventually return to the gazebo, there were no apologies exchanged. Instead, he quietly invited the other up to his room. Distracted and clearly agitated, he said nothing else until he clicked his bedroom door shut behind them. 

"Monou-san, why do we have religion?"

Fuuma hesitated, for once appearing unsure of the conversation. "Religion... is a lifelong preparation for death. People fear dying with regrets."

"If you died right now, would you regret anything?"  
"No," he answered, much too slowly.

* * *

**(05/19/06 : 19/50) 天**

The chairman was a perpetually busy individual. There was never a time when someone or something didn't require his attention. But he bore everything with tireless grace, his good nature seeming to overcome the most trying details. Perhaps he was biased, but Kamui saw differently. The smiles were washed-out. The interest overdone or flat. 

Only during physical therapy did Nokoru appear genuinely energetic. So even after Kamui recovered, they continued their routine. Noticing this, Suoh's attitude changed. He seemed less angry and more confused. Wistful.

"Why only now?" he sometimes wondered, aloud.

Somehow, Kamui knew there'd never be an answer.

* * *

**(11/10/05 : 20/50) 地球**

It came to Fuuma, almost as an afterthought, that he was caught in one of those life-defining moments. Sprawled on his back, on a dorm bed littered with textbooks, discussing religion like any other student, on any other weekend--the exact same way he and Segawa had been carrying on for weeks, now. It was all so damned _normal_, the notion was almost perverse. 

"I'm not concerned about dying," he scowled, unsettled.

"_Liar_," Segawa returned, unexpectedly grating. His eyes were piercing--_knowing_--and somehow, Fuuma understood that he meant more than just this. Wordlessly, he rose and let himself out.


	3. 21 to 30

**notes:** **天** : ten no ryuu, **地球** : chi no ryuu, **CCD** : CCD era

* * *

**(05/21/06 : 21/50) 天**

Kamui would be the first to admit that relationships were not his strength. Given half the effort, his tended to sour or fall apart--often _horrifically_. As such, his avoidance of others was natural.

But Nokoru, like Subaru, was different. Against his will, they'd insinuated themselves into his life and heart--made him dependant. But, unlike Subaru, Kamui wouldn't lose Nokoru to something spoilt. He wouldn't watch passively, this time, as things crumbled before his eyes.

Swallowing his pride, he finally pulled Suoh aside, knowing that resolution started with them.

"Takamura-san, tell me... what he was like, as a child?"

* * *

**05/22/06 : 22/50) 地球**

He'd long accepted his station in life, with its underscored meaning and meaninglessness. Nothing material in this world was his, but that which he owned he wielded with deadly accuracy: Choice, Heart, and Sight.

He chose to embrace his fate, when others wouldn't. He had the strength to separate himself--to catalyze a revolution, in both soil and the hearts of men. He unlocked intricacies of unrealized Wishes... of desires he'd never have the luxury of entertaining.

Denial? He knew too much, for that.

He caught his own eyes in a passing mirror, then looked away when they turned violet.

* * *

**(05/23/06 : 23/50) CCD**

The board office was unusually quiet, the week following the kindergarten-elementary division dance. The president, for once, seemed entirely oblivious to the enduring scandal and busied himself with paperwork, humming gently. He appeared content, under his secretary's watchful eye--almost disturbingly so. Even with his injuries, after so many days, there just _had_ to be trouble brewing.

Suoh rested his pen, looking across the room deliberately, "Kaichou."

Almost immediately, the sounds of papers shuffling stopped. "Hm?"

"Have there really been no new cases, recently?"

"Who knows?" Nokoru wondered, smile sly. "Besides... it's not the same without you by my side."

* * *

**(11/12/05 : 24/50) 地球**

"...Really?" Fuuma drawled, tone betraying none of his annoyance.

"Nakano, Ikebukuro," Satsuki returned, factually. "Taken by the Sakurazukamori and yourself, respectively."

The Angel leader frowned internally, finding the unguarded interest and unsolicited information unwelcome. He did not make light of it, however--wouldn't give Satsuki the satisfaction. He merely shrugged, pushing the stubborn remains of his own humanity down, into that quiet space in the back of his mind. Wishing he could _suffocate_ it.

"It's better that way," he smiled, serenely. "He got to honor his parents before the End. Those who die later... will have nobody to mourn them."

* * *

**(05/25/06 : 25/50) CCD**

"...Never speak to me again."

The president's smile faltered. Behind him, Suoh and Akira eyed each other, just as upset by this shift in script. No woman had ever refused his attentions before.

"I... beg your pardon?" Nokoru pleaded, confused.

"Who do you think you _are_?" she snapped. "To treat everyone so lightly, to give five minutes of your smile, to encourage when there's no hope... you're _cruel_. If _everyone_ is special, Imonoyama-san, then _no one_ is special. If you can understand that, please... never speak to me again."

Ironically, when she left, part of Nokoru's heart disappeared with her.

* * *

**(11/14/05 : 26/50) 地球**

"With all due respect, I think you already have the answer. You just want to be coddled."

Of all the people he'd expected to lecture him, the Sakurazukamori was _not_ one of them. With his unfocused, mismatched eyes and studied indifference, the Sumeragi held an air of impenetrable distance about him. Like his predecessor, it was a comfortable presence to be in. But today's script was flawed. Those eyes were too keen, that tongue too sharp. And he wondered if he'd somehow offended his Angel by considering his current situation desirable.

"No one _wants_ to be lonely," Subaru concluded, passionlessly.

* * *

**(05/27/06 : 27/50) CCD**

Suoh was confused. Staring at the hand resting over his own, he tried not to examine the reasons.

"Kaichou... I don't understand. Are we being disbanded?"

Nokoru offered a smile that was barely that--more an apology for interrupting Suoh's paperwork than a reassurance. "Of course not. Our doors are always open for those actively seeking help. For now, I just... need a chance to get caught up on that dreadful backlog."

Suoh only nodded, knowing the fib but unwilling to contradict him. Instead, he tangled their fingers and squeezed, wishing he was someone who could offer miracles. Or hugs.

* * *

**(03/20/07 : 28/50) 地球**

"Whatever gave you the impression that I'm lonely?" Fuuma challenged, smile soft and dangerous. The building stirred beneath their feet, in underscore and contrast of his inviting tones, groaning thunder. Subaru, however, appeared unimpressed; instead of answering, he crouched on the ledge, observing the destruction. Dull eyes swept over the chaos, but quickly settled somewhere directly below them. Piqued, Fuuma peered down into the crowd, brows drawing and pupils flaring abruptly as Keiichi resolved from the blur.

The other teen stood apart, his Wish stark even against the desperation. Fuuma cursed.

"...Nothing," Subaru concluded, to the empty space beside him.

* * *

**(06/25/07 : 29/50) 天  
**

"Kamui-san?" Nokoru greeted his visitor from behind the usual stack of paperwork with the usual grin. After several seconds with no response, however, his pen idled--along with his smile. Looking into that unreadable expression, he felt something akin to dread. "Is something the matter?"

Forever happened before the boy rounded his desk, wordlessly pulling him into a hug. Nokoru stiffened, because Kamui was never so forward. But that insistent embrace, with its familiar strength and warmth, quickly overtook him. And for a moment, that affection was all he wanted...

But Kamui flinched away suddenly, leaving him cold.

"Earthquake... _Fuuma._"

* * *

**(06/25/07 : 30/50) 地球**

Everything came so fast that it was hard to know what was happening or why. One moment he was standing still and calm, mesmerized by the debris hurtling from the sky and the next... the sun eclipsed and gravity escaped him. He nearly cried out then but paused, eyes widening when he recognized Monou, back arched protectively and arms wound tight around him.

"Do you _want_ to die?" He sounded angry, but all Keiichi heard was the fear--real, honest emotion. _Finally._

He grinned suddenly, uncaring. He was so happy. He embraced Fuuma and let his laughter shake them both.


	4. 31 to 40

**notes:** **天** : ten no ryuu, **地球** : chi no ryuu, **神威 **: _kamui_, **CCD** : CCD era

* * *

**(06/28/07 : 31/50) 天  
**  
Nokoru simply stared at his office door, eyes tracking Kamui's retreating form long after its departure. To say he didn't understand was the least of things, but the things he did know troubled him: Kamui _knew_ about him somehow. But even that knowledge did not stop him from rushing out, straight into the hands of his Gemini.

There was nothing he could do. Not for Kamui. Not for anyone.

Shaken, he contemplated the "decorative" bourbon decanter across his desk. An ill sensation was stirring in his belly. He wanted so badly to protect him.. but this was not his battle.

* * *

**(06/29/07 : 32/50) 地球**

"Go home," Fuuma growled, shoving Keiichi away and giving him his back. "Stay out of this."

The other boy frowned, rubbing his bruised wrists but unwilling to stand aside. "But Monou-san..." Almost in answer, a sudden wind whipped between them, driving him backward. He made a distinct sound of protest, but otherwise withdrew. "...I understand," he conceded reluctantly, "Please... be careful."

Fuuma walked away after a moment, and Keiichi raised his hands, slowly spreading his fingers over the image of that retreating back like so many feathers. He smiled to himself. He'd always known Monou was special.

"Big... beautiful... wings."

* * *

**(06/30/07 : 33/50) 神威**

The script was different this time.

Even before he managed to visually isolate Fuuma in the chaos, Kamui knew. He felt it in his bones as he pounded across the ruptured asphalt and upturned concrete. He felt it stirring in his heart, along with the impressions of the loved ones he had to protect. When the Dragon of Earth appeared, he felt it again in his wrists as they were unceremoniously slammed into the building behind him. No games, no words.

Angrily, Kamui imagined Nokoru-san's face, should he be hospitalized again. Almost instantly, he was shocked to feel Fuuma stop.

* * *

**(07/01/07 : 34/50) 神威**

He supposed he should be pleased. The months of intense guidance (and goading) had at last culminated in this moment, with Kamui wielding his power _and_ heart together; their fight would finally be balanced. But Fuuma found he was anything but, met with the projection of someone _else_ at the center of his Gemini's affections. Still, nothing could prepare him for when he abruptly felt the _Sight_ touch him. Alarmed, he refocused on Kamui, but found instead light brown eyes. Keiichi stared at him accusingly, half-embedded in brick, and Fuuma felt his bile rise. Pale, he released him and fled.

* * *

**(07/02/07 : 35/50) 天**

The Imonoyama was half a bottle deeper than he'd meant to be by the time Kamui returned to their room, shaken but no worse for wear. The young dragon approached the bed cautiously, scenting the alcohol and sweat and heat... and hunger. He paused, until a strange sense of purpose infused him and somehow he was reaching down to take Nokoru's chin between his fingers. The older man looked up at him blearily. "...Suoh?" he wondered, smiling into amber eyes.

When their lips met, Kamui couldn't bring himself to feel bad. He was also being taken advantage of, after all.

* * *

**(07/03/07 : 36/50) 地球**

That evening, Fuuma found himself in the dormitory hallway, unexpected and completely unprepared for once. Segawa stood across from him, in his doorway, with a smile that made him feel naked. "I knew you'd come."

Fuuma fumbled, feeling irrationally anxious, "I'm sorry, I--"

"_Shut up_," Keiichi commanded softly, stopping his tongue. And when he fisted the front of his jacket, pulling him close, Fuuma had no resistance left. He'd lost control from the moment this man had gotten under his skin. In allowing their friendship, he'd become human again. But somehow that didn't matter anymore. His heart was relieved.

* * *

**(07/04/07 : 37/50) 天**

All of his life, Imonoyama Nokoru had been famous for his extraordinary critical thinking and problem solving skills. He pondered this fact at length as though it would stimulate fundamental comprehension. Or possibly a Deus ex Machina.

He wondered why he wasn't more concerned.  
He wondered at his idle mind but then decided he preferred it that way.

He couldn't remember exactly what happened, only that Kamui kissed him and then... He'd woken up, comfortably entangled in warm arms and sleep-darkened eyes. He should've panicked. But another gentle touch, this time to his forehead, drew him back down to rest.

* * *

**(07/05/07 : 38/50) 地球**

Keiichi was halfway through the process of pulling Monou's pants open when his tongue encountered a patch of irregular skin. Piqued, he traced its shape, drawing wet lines over the smooth, warm curve of bone. A sensuous arch of spine followed, allowing him a better view of the stylized kanji inked into that hip. He paused, half-attempting to read it in the dark, "Kami..."

"It's the name I was given," Fuuma offered calmly, staring at the ceiling, "...the name of someone important.

"'Monou Fuuma' is not important. Nobody will remember him."

"You're wrong," Keiichi breathed, "I will remember Monou-san, always."

* * *

**(07/06/07 : 39/50) 天**

Shirou Kamui was Awake... in such a way that defied comprehension. It was hypersensitivity--a sort of clarity that suffused his vision even when he couldn't see. And indeed, his eyes were open--maybe for the first time in his life.

Peacefully, he regarded the Imonoyama drowsing in his lap, wondering if he would die happily. The poor fool was so much like him, watching him hurt. "Ne, Nokoru-san," Kamui murmured, "Do you know what I Wish?"

"Nn...?"

"I wish I hadn't wasted time thinking of myself. I could have enjoyed them... even for a day. Now I have nothing."

* * *

**(07/07/07 : 40/50) 地球**

It was different, waking up beside someone else. The artless sprawl and entangled sheets, warm and spicy with sweat and whatever else; the firm hand kneading the cold, sore line of his lower back; the absolute lack of tension in their overextended bodies... it was strange, but definitely pleasant. He barely gave it notice when Segawa began nuzzling his jugular. "You know," he rumbled, already curling around the other, "you make me feel... so _normal._"

Keiichi paused then chuckled breathily, crawling onto him. "Coming from you, I suppose that would be a compliment..."

Fuuma smiled solemnly, "You have no idea."


	5. 41 to 50

**notes:** **天** : ten no ryuu, **地球** : chi no ryuu, **神威 **: _kamui_, **CCD** : CCD era

* * *

**(07/08/07 : 41/50) 神威**

Kamui disliked irony. Most anything that had ever struck him as ironic seemed designed to make his life even shittier. So one might imagine his face when, in a rare moment of academic outreach, he sought out Keiichi's usual gazebo and instead found Fuuma. Nothing could prepare him for what happened next: His Gemini glanced at him over a book and immediately looked... disappointed.

Kamui blinked, wondering why they hadn't sensed each other. Meanwhile, Fuuma regrouped and emerged with the usual cruel smile. But the damage was done. Kamui had seen through him, and that vulnerable expression twisted his insides.

* * *

**(07/09/07 : 42/50) 神威**

Fuuma had to admit that things were beginning to spin way out of control. He'd been so intent on his usual study date with Segawa that he hadn't bothered to keep a signal out for other Dragons. And to be caught off by _Kamui_, of all people--he'd kick himself if it weren't completely useless. But what was done was done. So he stepped out into the clearing, readjusting his posture and smile to threatening. It felt awkward, but it was nowhere near the horror that struck the both of them when Keiichi appeared, gleefully knocking him flat with kisses.

* * *

**(07/10/07 : 43/50)　地球**

If you asked him why he did it, he might shrug and say _all is fair_... But when Keiichi came into the wooded space across from the gazebo and saw Monou take up that ridiculous stance, something wicked curled into his smile. Apparently, that silly man of his still needed to learn how _obvious_ his bullshit was. He crouched and _sprang_ at the other, delighting how Fuuma abruptly turned deer-in-headlights before the ground rushed up to catch them. Once on top, he pressed his advantage, so involved in his victory and those undignified, breathless noises, he never noticed their audience.

* * *

**(07/11/07 : 44/50) 天**

Kamui stared for a long minute, unable to comprehend exactly _what_ he was watching. His "normal" classmate Keiichi, sitting astride _Fuuma_, the superhuman antichrist, completely overwhelming him with... _uh_... He was certain that if his brain were capable of function in that moment, it would fail anyway, like a car switching gears without a clutch.

It wasn't until the impressions started coming through--the emotions and images associated with Wishes--that a hot knot of nausea rose in his gut. He didn't know when he unlocked that technique, but it was nothing short of voyeurism. Mortified, he turned and fled.

* * *

**(07/12/07 : 45/50) 天**

Several kekkai fell in the weeks following the onset of Kamui's newest bout of depression. His dragons, justly concerned, visited often in hopes of rousing him. They were _losing_. They _needed_ him. But Kamui wouldn't speak—hadn't since the day Nokoru found him huddled in the park. Whatever happened, he refused to acknowledge. Instead he lay in bed for days, staring out the window. Watching. _Waiting_. For what, he wouldn't say.

The chairman grieved quietly at his bedside, positive he was responsible somehow. But eventually the wait ended. Kamui rose, embracing him with whispered gratitude, and left.

He never returned.

* * *

**(07/13/07 : 46/50) 地球**  
The cold ocean air whipped around them, seeping into his clothes and stinging his cheeks pink, but Keiichi's hand remained warm inside his as they climbed down the rocks to the water. His lover carefully cradled an urn with his free arm, his face somewhat pale as they reached their final destination. It was time to scatter the ashes.

"I should have done this days ago," Keiichi admitted, voice suddenly hoarse, "but... _'kaasan_ always asked about you. It wouldn't feel right if you weren't here with me."

Fuuma squeezed encouragingly. "I made her a promise. I intend to keep it."

* * *

**(07/14/07 : 47/50) 天**

Despite all the recent upheaval, the chairman found himself curiously balanced. The Seals passed around him, distraught, but he had no words of comfort. Kamui was beyond help. That was a fact. He'd gone to serve a higher purpose—to decide Judgment. Their purpose now was to await the outcome—to be Judged.

_Die with no regrets._

Kamui's final words were imbued with damnation and strength. Their implications empowered him. And so it was that Nokoru finally approached Suoh with his heart on his sleeve. "How _is_ Nagisa-jo?"

Surprise, then relief met him. A smile. "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

**(07/15/07 : 48/50) 地球**

Keiichi was worried. Something was _coming_. He couldn't explain how he knew, but it seemed as tangible as that _look_ in Fuuma's eyes whenever there was an earthquake—and there had been an increasing number of those, lately. His boyfriend was involved. He knew that without asking, and he knew better than to ask...

But the night came when there were no disturbances and Fuuma got that look in his eyes anyway. When he kissed him goodnight, Keiichi couldn't bear it any longer. "Will I see you again?"

No answer came, only a hug that crushed his ribs and heart.

* * *

**(07/16/07 : 49/50)　神威**

The Final Day foretold never came to pass. Instead the _kamui_ came together quietly, settling onto opposite sides of a sun-warmed bench, their _shinken_ laid harmlessly between them. They hardly acknowledged one another, but that also seemed appropriate in such an anticlimactic setting. Nearly an hour passed before Kamui breached that silence, his tone ironic. "I finally understand you. I always wanted to, but I think I like this less."

Fuuma chuckled wryly. "The more I learned, the more I realized I didn't understand you at all."

For the first time in years, they shared a moment of self-depreciating laughter.

* * *

**(07/17/07 : 50/50)　神威**

It could only be avoided so long, and inevitably their conversation had to address the business at hand. It was with some reluctance that Kamui acknowledged that. "Now what?"

"This is the End," Fuuma replied, raising and tilting the _shinken_ softly against his throat. "Are you afraid?"

He didn't flinch. There was no threat to him. "No, not anymore."

The blade withdrew. "Good. I won't go easy on you. If you can't stand against me seriously, you _will_ die." A pause. "But I'll give you three days. Convince me."

Kamui couldn't breathe. Fuuma wanted to _talk_. "Yes. We'll decide _together_."


End file.
